Member-only story
Jumping Off the High Dive Board
Would I have the nerve?
I’ve never been a great swimmer. I can manage and all, but I never went in for having distance badges sewn onto my trunks, or diving board showboating. As a teenager, I enjoyed frolicking in the shallows, eyeing up girls, and performing illicit bombs when the pool attendant wasn’t looking.
Noisome Knickers
My first ever trip to the swimming baths was with my class in junior school (as it was then called), and I remember it for several reasons, one of which is pretty gross. When we entered the changing room, pupils from the previous lesson were still getting dressed. I don’t recall which school they were from, but one of their number had left a pair of badly soiled white underpants under the bench, which the instructor, a body builder with a fearsome reputation, had discovered. As we waited, the instructor held up the noisome knickers and asked each pupil in turn:
“Are these yours?”
Even though I was not a suspect, I was so alarmed by the manner of the interrogation, I almost had cause to leave my own underpants behind. Not surprisingly, the soiled clothing went unclaimed and one lad went home minus his linings.
As we changed, I glanced nervously at the entrance to the pool, which was a narrow opening. At the base…
